Well here's a doozy for everybody. Wife and I were looking for something to eat, so since we're a bunch of lazy-asses, we went to Wal-Mart and picked up a box of this:


Red box, but same company, brand, everything. The product comes with two 24-oz bags in the box, because there's no way in hell we're eating three pounds of fried rice. Heat and eat simplicity, just throw the bag in the micro for 10 minutes and you've got instant faux-Chinese.

So we did this, stirred it up, divided it between us and started eating it. I get about 3/4 of the way through my portion and bite into this gnarly thing... (click for big)



Yes, that's a fake fingernail. There's no possible way it was my wife's, she doesn't ever wear them. Haven't had any females over illicitly either. So wtf? Had to have come from the factory. How gross is that? Apparently the gravity of the whole situation didn't hit me immediately, but wife flipped out (cause she knew it wasn't hers).

So I'm sitting here weighing all of this from a quality control aspect. I haven't been getting these for years or anything, this is the VERY FIRST one I got, and also the very first bag we cooked up (remember there's two in the box). What are the odds that the very first one is going to have this in it? My Six Sigma tells me that the odds should be 3.4 MILLION to one, or else they're doing something VERY wrong at the factory. I'll know if the second bag also has foreign matter in it (yeah right, there's NO way I'm cooking that one.)

So. What recourse do I have? I'm going to call them up when their phone lines open and raise hell for a while, see if they'll "make it right" with something more than my purchase price back. I'll tell them I'll take it to the news. I'll demand a recall. I'll make vague legal threats. I'll do what it takes to get them to cut a check to make this little nightmare "disappear"...

This ever happen to anybody else? What did you do?

Yeah.. that's freakin gross. I'm glad I ran out of milk. This would have ruined breakfast.

There was this girl in high school who would always sit with our group at lunch - we really didn't like her but weren't mean enough to say anything. One day she started picking off her fake fingernails and I decided she deserved some bitching for it so I said that that was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen and I left.

I guess on some level that's kind of sad I've never been meaner than that...

Once upon a time at Shop n Save we were walking by the peanuts and in two separate bags of the SAME BRAND had stuff in them - one had a rock, the other had a moth.

My geometry teacher in high school also found a rock - in the taco salad he had gotten from the cafeteria.

I think I may have found an antennae in my Cheerios once... but the neighbors are so nasty I doubt it was packaged like that.

I found a deep fried grasshopper in my onion rings at burger king once.

Was it any good? I loves me some rices... I think I could handle sifting through the fingernails if it tasted delicious

Like, GAG me with a spoon!

There IS that other bag that came in the box. You're welcome to it. 5 bucks?