Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off
all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's
with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor
said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." "Hi George! say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a
group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse
from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The
group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I
will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good
idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these
guys play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build
targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was
an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
yet"

Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it
was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect
said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will
each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to
him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the
frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The
frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took
the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally,
the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you
for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The
engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend,
but a talking frog, now that's cool."

I wish I had a bike...

Talking frogs are cool.


*reminisces of TMNT from the good old days.*

KYLE, you're silly.

I think I would've taken the clothes... that way you can leave them around your room to make it look like you have a girlfriend.

Time to engineer a Understanding Engineers: Take Ten.

Who are you?

Edit: NM, figured it out.

Hooray for email forwards copied into posts. No. Don't do it again. Old jokes. Old, old jokes.

Remember, Max. They're Freshmen and Sophomores... They don't realize these have been said many times before. They're new to them.

God I'm old. No wonder I have so much gray hair.

You're right. We wouldnt want to compromise the integrity of the chat board. Forums are for calling each other morons or fags and yelling about how stupid/gay something is.

You learn quick...


THIS ONE HAS A FUTURE!!

All I can say is, it's great to be back. And in back, I mean, not under a rock anymore.

Whatever. [emoticon]

It's nice to have my semi-nemesis back.
May we piss eachother off in my second thousand as we did the first.

Yes, and I, in my second... um... 440?