Folks,

After some discussion with some people that I work with, I have decided to start a new cult, Deltism.
The religion will be based loosely off of Buddhism, and have many similar characteristics. One attractive characteristic is that you don't have to abandon your current faith, or lack thereof, to be a member of my faith. Also, engineers should be especially attracted to it.
The faith that I am advocating is that perfection and true understanding of the universe can be found in the meaning and understanding of the delta function. For those of you outside of the know, the delta function, also known as the unit impulse. (Believers in the discrete-time dirac impulse need not apply.)
Here are some facts:
1) The delta function is defined as the function such that its integral across the time instant that it exists is one, and has no value at any point other than the point at which it exists. The delta function is its own derivative.
2) The delta function can be integrated to produce other functions, which can be defined at all time.
3) All functions can be defined as linear and non-linear combinations of the delta function. Using this definition, the delta function is the basis for all existence in real space.
4) Mathematicians refuse to believe in the delta function, as it cannot be definitely proven to exist. However, they do believe in some approximations to the delta function, which are, in fact, combinations of integrals of the delta function, revealing their hypocrisy.
Here is what we advocate:
1) No person is perfect, but we should all strive through our lives to come near as near to perfection as possible. The delta function, likewise can have some near-perfect approximations for real-world applications.
2) Just as there are often two ways to achieve a goal in life, there are also two ways to achieve perfection as a Deltist.
2a) You may start from a wide pulse, that need not be rectangular, but may be triangular, sinusoidal, or even a sinc, and gradually, through introspection and perseverance, become more like the delta function, by becoming taller and narrower in your life, that is, your width approaches zero, as your height approaches an infinite quantity.
2b) You may start as a multi-ordered function, perhaps of the third or fourth power. Through experiences and your works, and understanding of life, you become differentiated. By these differentiations, you suddenly become of a smaller order, until you reach parabolic orientation, then ramp orientation, and then, step orientation.
3) Both routes are equally valid, but you must choose your route and stay the course. It is not possible to achieve deltist perfection through a combination of paths. For this reason, a person may not be admitted until they are ready and committed to the course.
4) The leader of the congregation of Deltists will be referred to as a Deltan. The leader of the Deltans will be called the Deltoid. He will be chosen from his members who see him as being the one Deltist who has most closely reached perfection in his Deltist ways.
5) The overall goal of Deltists will always to be to bring greater measures of perfection, grace, and peace to the people among whom they live, in all aspects of their lives which lack perfection.

The doctrine is still being developed by myself, the Deltoid, and my associate Deltans, who have worked with me to develop this to its current incarnation. If there are those who have an interest in carrying the torch of Deltism to other parts of the country or globe, please enlighten me as to your interest, as well as to where your interests lie.

anything is better than baptism

thats alot of shit to read

I can't tell if this is a joke or not, its not really funny enough to be a joke, but if it's real it's a very sad day to be alive.

First of all, I think I speak for everyone here when I say: "WTF??"

Second of all...

Ever heard of Catholicism?

Third of all, sorry, I'm starting my own cult. We worship Patty, the secretary over at the BE building. She may not admit it, but by this point I'm pretty damn convinced she's actually the Goddess of Fate. No, really. Remember the power outages a while back? I'm pretty sure she took the day off right beforehand and, well, you get the idea. Others may pretend to be in control of UMR, but they're just figureheads and puppets--it's Patty who pulls all the strings.

No sit, Patty is the greatest. Patty was my best friend last year. She know EVERYTHING there is to know. You have questions, Patty's got answers.

Yeah, there's been one or two times when I was lazy and didn't get my schedule together fast enough for the next semester, missed out on a class or two I wanted in.....walked in, asked Patty for help finding out if there was a section open still, she actually just had me sit down while she put my schedule together for me! She fit EVERYTHING I wanted in, even the things that I could have sworn had direct conflicts....and I didn't even need to get up early ever. There's just no logical explanation for how she can do the things she does without manipulation of the space-time continuum. She MUST be the Goddess of Fate.

patty > you

yeah plus she's TOTALLY HOT!!!!!!!!!!

....er ...i mean helpful...

One more reason the anonymous posters need to be disallowed. :p